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Thursday, August 25, 2011

Day 2

I'm new to blogging, so I'm more than sure that all of these postings somehow are in the wrong order.  I decided to begin blogging a bit to try and help me sort my feelings and emotions during my postpartum time.  I have been going through the baby blues, but my emotions are starting to calm now and I feel more like my old self every day that passes by.

Day 2 of having my baby was a bit more difficult than the first one.  The pain of the c-section had really set in and I could not breastfeed my baby because I couldn't find a correct angle to feed her from due to the pain.  My husband was helping me a lot with the baby and I had been starving because the hospital would not feed me food until noon, and I had been up all night and had not eaten anything the day before.  I eventually felt better and could hold my little one a bit longer that day and bond with her.  My husband was so happy, it was hard for him to let her go back to the nurses for check-ups or to lend her to other people at times :-), but it was wonderful to see how gently he took care of her and how you could see his love for his baby daughter.

Eventually I started receiving guests and that was the funniest part of all, I was so drugged at times, I could not remember people visiting me.  But apparently, people said I had conversations about the strangest things with them :-).  Pretty funny, at least my friends knew that I was crazy to begin with, so it did not seem that much out of the ordinary :-).

At the end of the day, I had to get up and walk, go to the restroom and so forth.  My God, the pain after being cut open is so unbearable at times, I couldn't believe it.  But I knew I had to keep going and I never gave up.  To all of those women who have had c-sections and feel that they were cheated out of a natural delivery, don't feel bad or guilty.  Any form of labor, natural, with drugs, c-section, it does not matter, you eventually go through many pains.  The fact of the matter is that c-sections are tough due to the recovery time and the amount of assistance needed to help you with your baby.  But never give up, there are people that are willing to help.  Some women ask friends from their church to help out, others hire people, but you may have friends that are willing to help.  The key during this time is to never lose hope, the miracle you gave birth to needs you, but things will be alright, there is always help.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Day 1

You go through 10 months of pregnancy, yes people, 10 months, not nine.  This is a little fact that most people or professionals forget to mention, so when you come to your nine months of pregnancy, do not worry if you go past those "nine months" you dreamt about, believe me when I say that it is all worth it in the end.  When I first found out I was pregnant I was elated, scared and worried all at the same time.  I could have been much happier, but unfortunately I had a miscarriage a couple of months before the 2nd pregnancy and did not want to go through one again.  Luckily I have a wonderful husband, great family and a great network of friends that kept my faith and hope alive.

Now we come to August 16, 2011, the scheduled day of my c-section to have my daughter (still trying to get used to it all :-).  My little one is born at 7 lbs. 11 oz. and was and is the most beautiful thing I have seen my entire life.  The experience of the c-section was one to be remembered.  I had wonderful nursing, doctors and a crazy anesthesiologist at my disposal.  I was given the most amazing care in the operating room and I had the craziest of conversations with the anesthesiologist during the procedure.  He gave me great drugs and I thought he was my savior from that point on.  He assured me and re-assured me during the procedure that I would be okay....all I could think about was seeing the process take place (I'm an aspiring special effects artist, I do gory stuff, you'll see I'm crazy). My husband was also in the room with me and was lucky to see the little one born.  There is no other feeling like that of hearing your daughter's first cries as she is coming to this world.  I closed my eyes and mentally recorded the experience as much as I could.  My husband's look was priceless, he was so happy and teary-eyed, it was wonderful to see.  From that point on he would follow my daughter's cleaning and so forth and I was being taking care of at the same time.

Many emotions go through your mind as you lay there in the hospital bed.  From what I can remember there were many people (nursing, family members, etc.) coming in and out of your room during recovery.  You are told many things at once such as the "baby blues" that are to follow, possible postpartum depression, paperwork to fill out and how to take care of your wounds.  My thoughts during these instructions were to scream to please leave me be and let me rest, I've never been depressed and I won't be!  Well, hormone levels are stronger than your intentions regardless of the situation.  I would soon come to find out that I would be one of those percentages that go through the stage of the "baby blues."

Trust me when I say that it is hard to find out all the information that you are looking for on the internet as many people go through so many different experiences during childbirth.  Remember always that we are all different and what you experience yourself is your own event and your own emotions.  What kept me through the first day from worrying was just knowing that a miracle had happened that day and to allow my body to rest and recuperate to save up energy for the next day.  Things get better on a day to day basis and my goal was to get better as fast as possible to me with my newly formed family.  Don't feel like everything has been just thrown at you in one day and ask for help from those that are willing to assist you.  I thank God every day that I have had so much help ever since that day.